I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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