there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
