the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
