Jerry, you need to find god
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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