sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I am naked and annoyed.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
