She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
