Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
