Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
