I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
