A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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