Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
