Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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