Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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