Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
