I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
