my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
