Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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