i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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