I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
