You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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