you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
