and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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