so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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