I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
