True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
How's work?
Spinning.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
