oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
