what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
