i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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