So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
His nipple licking is glorious
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