Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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