doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
There's even glitter on my cock...
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