I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
