ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
