for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
