Everything about him screamed your future.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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