Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
