At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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