I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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