I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
