You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he wants to bone in the snuggie
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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