just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
