So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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