Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
