I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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