SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
