He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Did I show you my penis last night?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
