i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
