She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
