i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
