I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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